DoctorMe or MiDoctor?

Did I tell you about the app I’m developing? It’s a quick and easy way to get cheap medical care.

Hear me out.

These days we watch so much TV and there are so many medical shows. We know more about advanced medical procedures than ever before.

Also, there are endless medical advice websites. And you can learn how to do anything on YouTube.

The way the app works is this. Let’s say you need a pelvic exam. How hard can it be to do a pelvic exam?

You open the app and into the query box type: I need a pelvic exam.

People in your vicinity that have the app will get an alert based upon their self-reported skills and interests.

They will respond by bidding on your procedure. You can sort by location, appointment time and price. Click a button and go get your exam! Or have your examiner come to you. Whatever works best, is cheapest, and gets you the care you need.

I think this is going to change the way America does healthcare.

[Edited to add: I scheduled this post over the weekend. The day after I wrote it I found this article about DIY gynecology.

A collective of radical bio-hackers and TransHackFeminists are out to reclaim gynecological medicine for those women, and for themselves. Under the name GynePunks, they’re assembling an arsenal of open-source tools for DIY diagnosis and first-aid care—centrifuges made from old hard drive motors; microscopes from deconstructed webcams; homemade incubators; and 3D printable speculums.]

[Even more edits added: I guess I should explain myself in case anyone is paying attention. I added the DIY bit just because I’d made a joke about pelvic exams. To clarify, I think a lot of women don’t have access to healthcare and if DIY can help them, terrific.

The app riff is intended to be a comment on the start-up culture bypassing traditional licensing, training and safety measures in the name of providing better, cheaper, more convenient service. (And often, shitty jobs.)

I probably shouldn’t have put both in the same post, but it’s done now.]

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Slow Roasted

I had to do something with the tomatoes I scored so I opted to roast them using this recipe.

You cut the tomatoes in half, drizzle with olive oil, sprinkle salt and pepper and herbs and slow roast at 275 for 5 hours. Since my oven is a sentient being with a stubborn streak I kept a close eye on mine and ended up turning the oven to 200 after three hours and then off an hour after that.

The house smelled amazing. At least I thought so. I asked Bob and he said: Smells like tomatoes.

They aren’t kidding about the parchment. I wasn’t very thorough and I had some scrubbing to do around the edges of the pans.

Very delicious. I ate a ton from the tray and now I’m sorta full right before dinner.

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The Tomato Report

Now that the PACNW has been transformed into a new blistering hot paradise, you’d think I would finally have an amazing tomato crop.

But no. I do not. Although that’s mostly my fault since I had illnesses and then back troubles and then had the project of August. Gardening slipped to a super low priority.

The plant above was purchased at the grocery store. It may not be clear but it is only about 18 inches high. It hasn’t grown even a tiny bit. I planted them right when we had that 10 day streak of 90+ temperatures and my plants freaked out.

I bet that single tomato is all I get.

The above is the second plant I got at the grocery store. This one produced a surprise red tomato that I happily picked and then noticed it was completely rotten on the bottom. I thought the grocery store ones were bred so that any doofus with some dirt in her yard could successfully grow tomatoes.

I am either mistaken or worse than a doofus.

This is a volunteer. Sprouted up of its own free will. It has produced two so far and you can see two more on there.

Colleague is going to Hawaii tomorrow. He said he was yanking his plants and composting everything. I said, bring me what you have.

That is 11 pounds of tomatoes. He was going to compost 11 pounds of tomatoes.

I showed those to a lady in the elevator on the way home and she was jealous. I was afraid she might knock me down and steal them for herself.

Tomato processing this weekend.

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Sunflowers

Now that the project of August is out in the world, I am catching up on all the people and activities I abandoned while I was working on it. (I will be back to work on finalizing it and abandoning everyone again, very soon.) I made 2 peach & berry pies last weekend for a party. And I made this peach pie today to bring on a visit to my mother-in-law. Fresh fruit pie is my favorite food.

I still haven’t given up on finding my lost wallet items. I’m going to take everything off my computer desk and I still haven’t thoroughly gone through the closet in my writing room. It’s looking hopeless but I don’t want to quit yet.

Have you ever learned something new about something you never thought about? But after you had the new information you couldn’t believe how stupid you were?

I saw a photo last week of a field of sunflowers with all the sunflowers facing the same direction except one. I can’t remember the caption but it inspired me to click around and I learned that sunflowers face east.

My sunflowers always face my kitchen window. It never occurred to me to ponder why they always face the kitchen window. Somewhere in a deep corner of my brain no explanation was needed. They face the direction where I want to look at them. There was never any reason to question that.

The other morning I watched a squirrel dangle off the top of a sunflower and chew a flower off and then crawl up the fence dragging a giant flower.

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Desperate, I Love That Word

A couple of weeks ago I watched Desperately Seeking Susan for the first time in years and years. Back when I was girl, cable TV was the same 7 movies played over and over, sometimes for months, and I’m betting that’s where I saw this first because I know I’ve seen it numerous times.

I learned that this is the 30 year anniversary. (eek!)

First, check out this trailer. Nice voiceover! Trailers have come a long way in 30 years.

Here’s a 30 year anniversary article told in what is called “oral history” and I call: super lazy journalism. It veers into self-importance at times but there are some great tidbits in here. Like the studio saying if you put two women on the poster, people would think it’s a lesbian movie.

I had to laugh at the quote about how those empty alleys that Roberta was running down don’t even exist anymore.

As opposed to all the cities that are EXACTLY THE SAME thirty years later.

I can’t tell if the movie really holds up. It holds up for me. When it came out I was that point transitioning into adulthood and doing a miserable job of figuring out who I wanted to be. I wanted to be confident and daring like Susan. And Roberta, too.

Instead, I was socially inept to the point of stupidity. I rarely took risks and when I did, it was never a soft landing.

I was watching the movie in a particular mindset that is a strong memory.

It’s worth noting that Madonna was at the very first moments of fame here. In the history they say that when they started filming she was unknown and by the end they had to hire security. Now, it’s hard to remember a world where Madonna wasn’t famous.

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Lost Items

This was some street art from somewhere in Philadelphia.

One of the things I do before I go on a trip is I clean out my wallet and take only the essential items. The items I remove I put in a safe place. And this time I can’t find my safe place.

I figured once I started looking I would find them quickly. But I looked in the usual spot. The less usual spot. The maybe it fell down spots.

Today I did advanced looking and I still haven’t found them. I’m wondering if maybe I accidentally threw them away. I don’t even know what all it is. I think my tribal ID and my AAA card. Possibly a library card. Poop.

While I was looking today I searched a bunch of drawers and apparently I lost my mind at some point and stocked up for the apocalypse by buying endless Post-Its. There are Post-Its by my bed, in my dresser, in my desk drawer, on my computer desk, in the drawer by the phone and in the annex drawer in the laundry room for when I buy too many Sharpies and Post-Its.

If you need Post-Its let me know and next time you stop by I’ll have a gift bag for you.

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Doot-do-do-doo!

This is Noah as in “No-ah, we aren’t getting another cat.” That’s the next door neighbors. Not us.

Noah is very sweet but did not like the camera. There is another cat that I was getting confused with Noah. But that cat has a collar and is named Franklin. We seem to cycle through cats quickly in this neighborhood. Louie from across the street disappeared and I haven’t seen Babs in awhile.

This is what the garden looks like at present. The tomatoes aren’t doing shiddly-doo. The volunteer is doing okay but the ones I bought at the grocery store are just sitting there. One of them probably got too toasted. There seems to be a volunteer acorn squash. There are a couple of bunches of spinach. Tons of potatoes. Ridiculous amounts of potatoes. I didn’t plant much so I can’t complain.

Here is the big news. The project of August is finished. Well, the first draft. Yes, it is below target but close enough. It has gone out to the first readers. You will probably not hear about it again until the end of next month. Meanwhile, I’m not sure what to do with myself. I read an interview with Francine Prose years and years ago, where she said when she had insomnia, she would get up and write.

Normally, when I have insomnia I can’t comprehend getting up to write but I’ve been doing it the last few weeks. It’s kind of weird when you’re keeling over at 11am to realize you’ve been up for 8 hours.

I’ve ignored everything else in life while I was writing, but now that I have momentum, I hate to stop. We’ll see what I do next.

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Philadelphia Part 3 TIMBERS!

Here I am bonding with a cow outside the stadium. Looking at that t-shirt, I’m not sure this cow is in the right place.

The inspiration for this trip was to see the Portland Timbers play the Philadelphia Union.

In case any Timbers fans or MLS fans are here and thinking about visiting Philadelphia for a match: DO IT! We very highly recommend. I also recommended Montreal Away after our visit last year.

The only snafu was getting to the match because we didn’t want deal with a car rental and the stadium is out of town a bit.

Bob came up with the brilliant plan: Pub bus.

We were walking over to the pub and I saw a tour bus but when we got up there Bob said, it wasn’t the right address. We kept walking. We saw a school bus. Bob said: I think that’s it.

That was it.

Here’s where the what the heck with the liquor laws Philly goes to the next level. We had not one, but two, kegs on a school bus.

Pour them in the front. Pass them back!

Also, something went wrong so there was no food. I am generally very careful about drinking anything without eating. At my advanced age, this has become critical.

But when are you going to be on the Union Party Bus again?

It was really fun. I want to say I’d do it differently next time, but I probably wouldn’t.

The stadium is beautiful. It’s a great location. It has a wonderful tailgate scene which is something we don’t enjoy in Portland.

Here’s my team, going to the slaughter.

We lost 3-0 but I wasn’t devastated since we left a significant part of our A team at home and we had 2 guys starting in their first ever MLS match.

Also, GREAT fireworks show. I think someone said there was a problem the previous weekend so they saved them for this match.

My parting comments are: it was a great trip. I would love to go to Philadelphia again. It’s a great city to visit.

The project of mid-August as of today:

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Philadelphia Part 2

Welcome to part 2 of my half-assed trip coverage.

We also did the historical museum (obviously) and all the historical tourist things. I will be the first to admit that my U.S. history is pretty weak. For my senior year of high school I wanted to do a program called 4/4 and take 4 classes in the morning and work in the afternoons. In order to do this I had to take a summer school class so I took my U.S. history in the summer. And summer U.S. history class is remedial class. I think I was the only person who didn’t sneak off to smoke by the automotive lab during the break. Everything else I know about early American history (that isn’t directly related to Indians), I learned from reading John Jakes.

Regardless, I could still appreciate the historical stuff. I loved Independence Hall and the graveyard where Benjamin Franklin is buried. I was underwhelmed by the Liberty Bell. There was a giant long line and the lady doing security clearly hated people and her job. Then of course everyone needed a selfie with the bell, which looked exactly like the pictures, and also like a movie prop.

One night there was a huge thunder and lightning storm with heavy rain. My phone gave me a flash flood alert. We were on the 17th floor and full from dinner and with our snacks and adult beverages handy so we pulled our chairs up to the window and watched. You could see the gusts of rain sweeping by. Very dramatic.

What is up with the liquor laws in Pennsylvania? We went to Trader Joe’s and there was no booze. We went to the wine and spirits shop and there was no beer. Then there was a separate market that Bob went to to get beer. The clerk there didn’t clarify but agreed the laws were complicated. There’s another twist that I’ll talk about in Part 3.

Bob finally got his Philly Cheesesteak the last day. I was urged to try this local delight numerous times, but if I’m going to destroy my digestive system eating something like that, I’d like to be closer to my home bathroom. I enjoyed a fruit cup while Bob enjoyed his sandwich. It smelled good.

On Sunday we visited the library and there was something called Hip Hop Fundamentals going on in the auditorium. The only reason we were by the auditorium is because that’s where the bathrooms were. Bob insisted we peek in and we ended up staying for the whole thing. It is a “diverse team of Philadelphia B-Boys dedicated to spreading true Hip Hop as an inspiration and academic tool.” And it was amazing. Tons of people and their kids learning hip hop. The B-Boys were great. I think everyone in the world should know about this group.

As of today the project of mid-August:

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Philadelphia Part 1

And now for part 1 of your single butt-cheeked coverage of our trip to Philadelphia.

First of all, in keeping with the theme, I did my trip clothing shopping in 15 minutes on the day we were leaving. There should be a prize for that.

There is a Columbia store across the street from the office. I ran over there with my wallet. Tried on 6 things to determine my size, and then selected a pair of shorts, a pair of pants and a short sleeved shirt – all made of this modern magical material called something like OmNiRron or Tu2vaFibre. It’s like wearing clothes made out of FedEx envelopes. They weren’t super flattering but they had tons of pockets and ended up being terrific when we were wandering up down the hot and humid boulevards.

We took a red eye out, even though every time I do one I swear it’s the last time, because cheap and *direct* flights showed up on my fare alert so we snatched them up. If you fly out of Portland, it is generally not cheap or nonstop to fly anywhere outside of the region. I once had a work trip to Reno and I had to fly through San Francisco.

Luckily, our hotel could check us in when we arrived so I was able to have my first nap followed by a food finding mission and then my second nap. Then I was good to go.

Our first day we went to the Rosenbach Museum and Library which Bob picked mostly because it was close to where we ate.

It turned out amazing. It’s a collection of rare books and manuscripts, plus some other items like furniture and we saw some miniature paintings. We took the guided tour, which was just the two of us, and we’re such literature nerds we asked millions of question. Our guide seemed happy to have us. It gets our highest recommendation. We would go back in a hot second.

The other brilliant museum we went to was the Barnes Foundation. According to the website, the Barnes holds one of the finest collections of Post-Impressionist and early Modern paintings. It’s a gorgeous building and the works are displayed in ensembles rather than by artist or time period. It’s explained here. I had no idea the collection was so extensive when we started. It was worth it but by the end I was short-changing my experience, because my brain was saturated. Another 1000 star recommendation.

And speaking of the project of mid-August. As of today:

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