You're Doing It Wrong

I can’t get a break.

Remember several years ago when my digestive system turned on me? (If you really want to recall the story start on April 10 and work your way backward).

I guess my digestive system decided after all the running around hither and yon and then the ginormous pile of things I had to do in order to just keep up, it would do a junior version of that again. It melted down on Thursday while I was having my huge busy day. It commenced with the churning and roiling. I lost all interest in getting food into me until about Saturday night.

After Thursday, I spent my time on the couch. On the plus side I got my DVR from 48% to 12% plus I watched gymnastics which will probably be a future post.

I ate lunch and dinner today and I did a bit of writing so let’s all agree that I’m moving forward now and all setbacks are history.

Here’s what you’ve been waiting for: the little pies baked into cupcakes post. Starring Kira the superstar baker.

Find a mini-cupcake tin for the pies. Make pie crust or use something pre-made. Whichever is easier.

Make tiny little pies and fill them with a spoonful of cherries. (Or whatever sounds good to you.) Put a top on them and seal. Vent them.

Bake them in the oven with the dog watching.

Line a regular cupcake tin with liners. Put a little cupcake batter in the cups and then drop the baked mini-pie in it.

Cover with batter. Don’t get carried away because as it bakes it will cover it.

Bake and enjoy.

Flowers in the backyard.

I generally don’t approve of waving around family drama on the Internet however I realize there are folks that know me that have only seen bits and pieces of this story here or on Facebook and would probably appreciate a few more details.

My Dad had a heart attack last week. It was scary for a little bit but he got a stent and went home a couple days later. I spent some time in Orleans hanging out with him and helping around the place. He is doing fantastic and other than maybe a little low on stamina he is his regular self.

Other than the reason for being there, it was a great week with gorgeous weather. We went for walks and made lunch and puttered around. I worked outside. Whenever I wanted a snack I stood under the fig tree and ate figs.

And now I’m home. So at the end of last month I had my Mom for a visit and a few days after she left I went to Atlanta and a few days after that I rushed off to California.

There a bunch of people expecting things from me like love notes, information I promised to pass along and photos I promised to print and send. I owe crits and have neglected to follow up on getting together with some folks like I said I would.

I’m getting to it.

So I was well on my way to a personal best driving record from Orleans, CA to Vancouver WA (I’m sure there’s a way I could embed a map if I could be bothered to try) when the electronic freeway sign warned of a wreck at milepost 266.

Sure enough by milepost 263 everything had slowed down. Then all three lanes stopped.

I’ve never been on a total freeway stop that I can remember.

Cars began doing all sorts of creative things to backtrack and get off the freeway.

They turned around and drove backwards on the shoulder and then turned on their signals and crossed the stopped lanes at the spot where they could reach the freeway exit.

I had a big bottle of water, Meredith cookies and a rock block of Ozzy Osbourne. I handled it pretty well.

I got out of the car and crawled on the hood to take these photos.

I wanted to get on the roof but it was sorta slippery and I wasn’t in the mood to fall and break my neck with a large crowd of onlookers.

We got going again after 20 minutes and when we finally reached something interesting it was the worse excuse for an accident ever. It was a fender bender on the other side of the freeway.

I very responsibly took my hands off the wheel and my eyes off the road to take photos but somehow must have done it wrong because they aren’t on the camera.

I think maybe the fender bender was due to lookie-loos for the cleared accident on our side of the freeway. There was an ancient motor home that looked like Godzilla had taken a bite out of it towed to the side and a lone orange cone guarding it. Still, not too impressive for a three lane, 20-minute closure.

I still got home in good time and now I’m tired and overwhelmed. My sweetheart fed me a great dinner and I’ve got the car unloaded.

Many photos and tales to come. Supposedly. We’ll see. My track record recently has been pretty bad.

This is the basil that I grew from a box of crackers. We had pesto the other night. Not sure what I’ll do with the rest. Pumpkin patch in the background.

I’m still way behind on everything. I haven’t had time to catch up and now I’m headed down to California tomorrow for an unexpected family matter. I may be offline for as long as week.

Updates when I return including the cup-pies we made in Atlanta.

As per always, I’m short on time here.

I got back from Atlanta yesterday evening and I’ve been trying to get caught up ever since. And a super busy week ahead.

Here’s one photo from the trip.

Lila is a little overweight so if she wants a treat, she gets a carrot. She acts like she’s really excited about the carrot but whenever she takes it to the rug to eat it, she turns around and gives a look that says, “When I rule the earth, you people are toast.”

Kira didn’t believe me so here is photographic evidence of Lila giving the stink eye. That orange thing is her carrot.

Klamath River rocks

Last week I got a survey in the mail addressed to Mr. Pam Hughes. It’s some sort of marketing thing and the questions make me wonder whether I have any business being on this planet.

I didn’t even have to do the first 4 pages because I don’t have pets or a busy breakfast morning.

What is a busy breakfast morning?

It asked me if I bought bacon strips in the last week. Is that the same as bacon? Or are bacon strips a separate type of product? I did buy bacon but the package says thick bacon slices and I didn’t buy it for breakfast I bought it for some collard greens I made for dinner. I said yes so I could check off at least one box in the busy breakfast morning section.

There was a whole page asking about tires. When I choose tires do I want them to make me feel sporty? I don’t even know what that means. Do I choose tires because I like the way they corner? Do I choose tires because something about getting soft and gripping the pavement? I learned more about tires during that survey than I’ve learned driving cars for the last 30 years. It also asked if I do a lot of research before I buy tires. No. I go to Les Schwab and buy whatever they recommend. They could show me tractor tires and I’d get out my credit card and say, “Okay, if that’s what you think.” I think there’s marketing information in that last statement but I don’t think the survey captured it.

Then it asked me a million questions about Facebook and do I rely on customer comments about products I’m considering and do I admire people with lots of friends and do I trust what corporations post. Ugh. Facebook.

They gave me five bucks and gave me another form to fill out so I could be entered into a drawing for more fabulous cash and prizes and no doubt more pointless marketing research.

Around the neighborhood.

I’ve been sitting on this half-drafted post for a day and a half for lack of time and now that I finally have time my point is ruined.

It’s been just warm enough to make the house stuffy in the evenings so I like to keep a bedroom window open at night.

A couple nights ago I woke up at 3am to the sound of a loud vehicle like a big truck idling in the street. After several minutes the noise was still there so I got up and looked and there was the new next-door neighbor’s moving truck which I guess must have just arrived after a long drive from California.

The noise when on for half an hour. I could hear voices. Insomnia issues aside, I’m not super precious when I sleep and can generally handle a little noise or some light or a flopping around spouse and barely notice. But this made me mad because it was loud, it went on and on and it was THREE O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING. What is wrong with people?

After a half hour I finally got up again and shut the window and the noisy truck eventually drove away. But I never fell back to sleep so I was completely brain dead the next day and couldn’t stop thinking really mean thoughts about my new neighbors whoever they are.

Bob went home this afternoon to let the dryer fix-it man in (don’t have the final word yet, but seems to be simple and not spendy fix – fingers crossed.) On his way out the new neighbor ran over to introduce herself. He said she is super nice and grew up in the neighborhood and is glad to be back in the area. He said she apologized for the other night but their moving van broke down and they had to be towed 50 miles to get home and that’s why they didn’t get there until the middle of the night.

What a bummer. I hereby take back all those mean thoughts.