You're Doing It Wrong

First visit to Southpark in almost 2 months. Our server said, “Can I bring you a glass of rioja?” They remember us.

I did an office supply order this morning at work. One of the things I wanted to buy was a packet of multi-colored paper.
 
You can’t imagine the time and trouble paper companies have gone to in naming their colored paper. There was one company that had plain old names like blue and pink. But the rest of them have huge long lists of crazy names: Popper-Mint Green, Banana Blast, Re-entry Red, Stardust White, Sea Blue. It goes on and on.
 
I like to try to imagine the process of coming up with these names. Someone at a desk with the colors spread out, making lists of ideas. Then having to do a presentation, maybe even a Power Point, in front of a bunch of management people who would be scratching their heads.
 
“Re-entry Red? Will the customer be able to visualize that?”
 
Then a group brainstorming session: Rodeo Red, Rock and Roll Red, Righteous Red, Really Red.
 
Then the person has to go back to his desk and re-work the color names. And now he has to refer to marketing reports and back issues of “Colored Paper Naming Weekly” to make sure their color names are properly targeted for their demographic. Maybe they’ll even talk to a consultant or do some Twitter crowd-sourcing.
 
Then there’s an extended conflict about Oasis Orange v. Orbit Orange and one of the managers goes home fuming with outrage because Oasis is so much better than Orbit, but management is always playing favorites and Orbit won.
 
They finally make a decision and release their paper into the world.
 
And now I’m sitting here looking at a catalog mocking their dumb color names and making my decision based on the number of sheets per packet/price.

Holiday card on the side of the road. It says, “I was going to get you a dirt bike, it wouldn’t fit in the card – Larf” I’m thinking the same thing you’re thinking, “Larf?” but that’s what it looks like.

Remember the most depressing sundries shop in the world?

Last time I wrote about it, it was under new management and new management guy was awesome. He worked really hard. He erased the stench of despair. He made sandwiches with bacon so it always smelled terrific in the lobby in the mornings. He would call out hello whenever you walked by. He had a cute sign and I thought I had a photo but I’m also afraid you’d think I was making fun of him and I’m not. It said: sandwich + chips or soda = $5 No Hungry.

So we nicknamed him No Hungry.

He did well, but apparently not well enough because battle-axe lady appeared several months ago. Battle-axe lady is also ESL. She has a helper and every time we’ve been in there she was picking on him, poor guy. She plays really loud classical music.

She also bumped up the food production and she has wraps and salads and chicken teriyaki — the same thing every deli in every office building in town has. But on Tues and Fri she serves Bibimbap.

I am new to bibimbap and I am in love. I don’t know how this particular version measures up to the best bibimbap. I’m guessing the limitations of “cooking” in a sundries shop means that there are potentially even more brilliant versions. I’m going to have to quest out to Beaverton or NE Sandy Blvd. and try to find them.

Today I wanted it again so I checked my food carts and turns out Number 1 Bento, a cart I’ve never been to, makes it. It was outstanding. I’d give sundries shop lady’s the slight edge but it was good.

Bald Hills Road, Northern California.

When I did my stats I neglected to mention that I stopped submitting after August because I decided to self-publish a bunch of my short stories. That’s a work in progress. I expect to have an announcement on that at the end of next month.

I also realized I don’t have a stat for how many movies I saw. I used to keep track of that and I still write them down sometimes. I bet it’s less than twelve. I hardly ever go to the movies anymore and I almost never watch movies at home.

At first I was going to say I rarely watch TV at home for more than an hour at a time but I guess I’d have to qualify that and say I rarely watch TV for more than an hour at a time unless it involves the Portland Timbers.

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I don’t want to jinx it but I haven’t needed a cough drop in four days. I still keep them in my pockets at all time. I’m not at 100% but this may be as good as it gets at this point. In which case I guess I am at 100%. I’m going for 110.

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This afternoon I was going through my checkbook and I was excited to see some money in there. “Wow, I made it through the holidays with a little leftover.” Then I realized I never took out the mortgage payment. Now it looks right.

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Friday night was bluegrass and fortunately we didn’t forget to wear our shirts with the signs on the back that say, “If you plan to talk during the set, please sit behind us.” No one denied us.

It was still fun. And I stayed up until 1am. This is practice for Wilco with Hannah next month.