You're Doing It Wrong

One of our neighbors was doing a school fundraiser selling boxes fruit.

We eat tons of fruit and thought this was terrific so we bought 2 boxes of apples and 1 box of pears. About the same time there’s a business associate who sends us a box of apples and that arrived. We shared some and apples last a long time so that’s no problem. Plus I want to try this recipe for apple-peanut butter pie.

However, one thing you should know about pears is they are super needy. They go from zero to ripe in a day and they all get ripe at the same time.

We’ve both been eating a couple of pears a day. We went to a party last night and I brought a pear crisp. We’re starting to lose them now. I composted a half dozen yesterday. You can see a bloopy one in the photo.

The smart thing would have been to can some but I was out of town last weekend and there’s no way I could have pulled it off on a weeknight this past week. This weekend I only have about a half day that’s not scheduled and I can’t bring myself to devote that to canning.

Lesson learned for next time.

The weather was warm and windy. The sky was bright blue and you could see things, mountains, tall buildings, in the distance.

If you’ve ever been to LA you know this is not business as usual.

We went south and drove through brown hills on a two lane road and then came upon a giant tower that said Harrah’s. This is the Rincon Band of Luiseño Indians casino. I linked to the Tribe’s website and not Harrah’s because I was little bit horrified. I’ve been in at least 20 Indian casinos and this is the first one that was devoid of even a hint of the people who own it.

But let the gambling begin! We met the rest of our friends here and went to town. I’m not much of a gambler but I donated a chunk of change for the cause and watched my friends play.

Those machines are amazing. The Sex in the City game had this whole bit where you pick a purse and then shop in Charlotte’s closet and then open a box of shoes and then you get diamonds for your bracelet. All these things are points adding up. Whoever invents this stuff is a genius.

We spent the rest of the weekend at Antje’s house. Pool! Even more sunshine. I slathered my pasty skin with 70 SPF and flopped out on the lounge cushion with a stack of People magazines. It was heaven. We had a number of terrific meals and watched Magic Mike with the extra extended dance scenes. I had some questions about the story but I guess that wasn’t the point. It was super fun catching up. My favorite people are the ones you can go years without seeing and then when you get together it’s like no time has passed.

On the trip back home it was still clear so I could see all the islands. And we drove past Disneyland and the old tire company that’s now an outlet mall.

Walker dropped me off at the airport and I was early enough I decided to sit out front and enjoy a last bit of sunshine.

I met the most charming 86 year old man from Oregon who was waiting for a ride. When I first said hello he told me that he was having a trouble hearing because his dog had chewed up his hearing aid. He told me he’d been married 54 years but his wife died of cancer. He’d never lived on his own and wanted to find someone new.

He phoned his father (yes, I stuck a finger in my ear to unclog it to make sure I heard correctly) to ask why he’d never tried to remarry and the father pointed out that he was 95 when his wife died so it didn’t seem important. My new friend put the word out and met someone and has been married to his 2nd wife for 8 years. His father died when he was 102.

When I finally was settled in my airport gate the airport music was like college juke box. Tons of ’80s songs that I haven’t heard in forever: Pretenders, The Cure, English Beat, Romantics, Steve Winwood, Banarama: is there a Pandora station called Burbank Airport? I was blissed out when I left.

Last weekend I went to southern California for a get together with some college friends and it was completely magical.

The get together was San Diego area but I flew into Burbank (LA area) (These geographic generalizations are for my loyal reader who might not be familiar with California) so I could have extra visiting time with one of my friends. I haven’t seen any of these friends for 6 or more years.

Burbank is a dinky airport. The plan was for Walker to park close by and I’d text when I arrived and she’d drive up to get me.

At Burbank they mean business. A driver is permitted a brief pause to let people in or out but beyond that and there’s a guy with a whistle and a white glove in your face.

Turned out the airport road was closed because the presidential motorcade was coming through. I had to walk from the terminal to find my ride. When I got to Hollywood Way they wouldn’t let us cross because the motorcade was coming right then. This white Porsche somehow managed to be driving on the closed road and the cops all waved at him (or her) so he made a screaming 180 and took off right when the motorcycle cops started zooming by. We all thought he was busted but he turned down a side street and no one followed him.

“We” is me and all the other people dragging our luggage out of the airport and waiting on the corner for our rides.

The motorcycle cops came in regular intervals and would stop a various points. One stopped right in front of us. Straight out of central casting – he would play the jolly cop would would help the little girl get her cat out of the tree.

Finally the motorcade came and it was about 20 cars with flashing lights driving crazy fast. White and black SUVs plus a couple of sort-of popemobile things.

Then it was gone. “Have a nice evening,” Jolly Motorcycle Cop said and he zoomed off. It was so smooth. Everyone seemed to know what they were doing.

Then they opened the street back up and the other cops waved at all the cars to get the traffic going again. I crossed the street and Walker was right there and I jumped in her car.

I said, “I just got here and already it’s so exciting.”

Part 2 tomorrow!

My photos are all disorganized and I couldn’t find what I wanted so this is in memory of spring.

(Well, poop. I scheduled this to post while I was gone except apparently I didn’t. I’m home! Details to come.)

I always think companies are conspiring for ways to trick you into spending more on the same stuff.

Like how liquid laundry detergent comes in a tinier jug that costs the same as the big one but the label says, “It’s concentrated! You only need two tablespoons. This jug contains 1000 loads worth of detergent.” But then when you do the laundry you still dump in a capful (which has a helpful line showing you where two tablespoons would be only it’s practically invisible) because that’s how you always do it.

I’m not brand loyal with paper towels. I can never remember what I bought before so I grab a different one every time. I also rarely buy in bulk because I don’t like to try to figure out where to store tons of paper towels.

When we first bought the paper towels where the perforations are for half paper towels I thought it was a total rip. “Whoever said, ‘Dang, these paper towels are too big. I wish I had only half a towel.’?” I said. I figured two half paper towels were probably bigger than one regular paper towel so you would use them faster.

But then I got used to the half paper towels and now I like them.

The next time I brought home regular paper towels and I was like, “Dang, who needs these giant paper towels?” and I tried to tear them in half.

There is a valuable lesson in there somewhere.

I’m headed out of town this afternoon and I’m going to be offline until Sunday night. Don’t wait up.

Here’s proof of the 150 bulbs.

This morning a guy at the market said to me: Hey, you look like you know what you’re doing. Can you help me here? Then I helped him find Saran Wrap and it was like I’d given him a kidney he was so grateful.

It was the best compliment ever. Especially since it happened about 2 minutes after I realized I managed to get to the market with 2 pairs of glasses but no phone or pencil.

I can’t tell you how hard it is to resist the urge to take this out to the driveway and run over it with my car.

Seasonal trends get carried away and annoying but pumpkin english muffins! How could I resist? I bet they taste amazing with cookie butter. I will soon find out. I also bought halloween candy and I mostly bought things Bob and I wouldn’t eat. I did get a small bag of peanut butter cups (Bob) and a small back of chocolate covered peanut eyeballs (me.) Last year I bought one of those giant bags of eyeballs (I also like the caramel) on clearance after Halloween and didn’t finish it until February. So this year I’m going to try to fulfill my craving with a smaller quantity.

The ballot arrived on Wednesday. The voter pamphlet arrived yesterday. I filled out that scantron like a champion. I’m going to mail this puppy and my duties for election day are finished.

So I found this in my inbox this week:

Tina is a friend and has been super supportive me and is also one of the world’s nicest people. She also does a podcast Toasted Cake. She also has a toddler. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t watch TV or check TMZ twice a day.

I, of course, want to help pimp Tina’s book except I only have three loyal readers and at least 2 of them already know about Tina. I could put it on Twitter but I only have something like 87 followers and at least a third of them have names like Candi and naughty wares to offer.

Social media is not my super power. I have many other fine qualities.

But, here it is. I’m going to be there. Connie Willis and Tina Connolly are the only people I will drive to Beaverton on a weeknight for.

Here’s the cover. Doesn’t it look cool? Tina’s post about it is here.

Not sure about a whole book but curious about this writer? Here’s one of my favorite short stories by Tina: As We Report To Gabriel.

I haven’t read the book yet but will report back when I do.