This Looks Fun

Who doesn’t love a good round of Freezing Fog?

If there is anyone left in the world who hasn’t seen me bleat about this yet, I participated in Luc Reid’s series on Inclusivity and Exclusivity in Fiction. Enjoy.

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Crows, Wardrobe Failure and Recipes

Yesterday when I got off the bus (7am, dark) I noticed that the trees along the transit mall were filled with cawing crows. It was both amazing and creepy. I have been noticing the sidewalks paved with bird crap in the daylight but I never saw any birds. There was a local news story that said that it’s normal for urban crows to sleep in big groups during the winter.

Anyway, the traffic light was changing to I took a few jogging steps to get to the curb and I realized: I’m not wearing a bra.

I do not go braless, even at home, except for sleeping.

For a second I was in a panic because I thought maybe I somehow forgot to finish getting dressed.

After a quick check I confirmed that I was wearing everything I intended to wear, except for a bra.

How the hell do you forget to put on a bra?

When I told my husband, he suggested I put on some Grateful Dead music and dance in a circle with my arms waving over my head.

When I told my sister, she told me that Linda Ronstadt never wears a bra.

At first I was going to go buy one but I decided to live dangerously and got through the day just fine.

Meanwhile, terrific recipes. Cauliflower macaroni and cheese — sounds like a joke, right? Nope it was terrific, however I did use about twice as much cheese as the recipe calls for. Also, I thought it was a bit too mustardy and would adjust that next time.

Also, roasted pumpkin soup. I didn’t bother with the brown butter and I didn’t want to run across the backyard to get fresh thyme so I just added some dry to the soup. I used the Baby Pams. Delicious.

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More Accurate Than Ever Before

I’m thinking about buying a new point-and-shoot camera. The one I have is only 2 years old but it’s pretty crappy. (See example above.) Also I dropped it at almost every Timbers game. That’s part of the game day ritual, picking my camera up from under the seats in front of me.

I’m thinking about getting one of those rugged ones that you can drop. Also, I tend to keep my camera in my bra so it’s handy and sometimes it gets sweaty. Those rugged ones are usually waterproof, too. We’ll see.

Last week I had a regular doctor checkup. They have a whole new computer system at the clinic. My giant file from the last 20 years was nowhere in sight. The ridiculously young nurse said, “You basically have no medical history, let’s start filling this in.”

I said, “What? Did you throw all the old records away?”

“No,” she said reassuringly. “We did this on purpose so that way we’d have more accurate records.”

This reminds of when your bank tells you that for your convenience they’re going to charge you more fees.

We went through the list and she’d say, “Oh, have you ever had something like this?”

And I’d say, “Uh, I think did have itchy forehead syndrome once.”

“Itchy forehead system,” she’d repeat and open a new window and asked me a million questions like what day did it start and how often did I have symptoms and what did I do and what medicines did I take.

WTF? “It was right after I graduated from college,” I said. “I can’t remember.”

Needless to say there was no incentive to remember any further medical issues.

Later the doctor came in for my exam. I love her. She’s super tiny and hilarious.

She and I went over my new accurate history and she said, “What? You’re smoking?”

“No,” I said. “I’m not.”

“It says here, you’re smoking.”

“Well, I’m not.”

She turns the computer screen to face me and points to the window. “It says, regular daily smoker.”

I’m super impressed with this accurate system.

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Happy New Year: We’re All Still Here

I have an online baking account.

I meant to type banking but now I’m intrigued with the idea of online baking. How would that work?

Are there any married people who have figured out a completely problem-free way to share finances? I’m going to guess, not many.

We don’t have many huge disputes regarding finances since we both have similar spending styles. Neither of us is a addicted to gambling or expensive toys or credit cards. But, you know, nothing is perfect.

The general attitude is that it’s all both of our money, but we have it divided into separate piles.

So getting back to the beginning, I have an online savings account. I am the primary account holder and I make deposits from money that I earn myself.

The bank recently sent us some snail mails and they were addressed to him.

Why do you think that is? Because it’s a man name? And really, how hard is it to address the damn mail to both people?

I’ve experienced various versions of this since we got married. One utility company treated me like a roommate and made me sign a form promising to be financially responsible but then didn’t put my name on the account. I fixed that.

It’s 2013. I don’t understand why the default is the man, especially since only one person can be the primary shareholder. Why not make that the default?

I got all fired up to write a letter but figure they’d just print it out and hang it up in the lunch room and laugh at it.

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It’s the Birthday Possum

Look at this guy cruising the backyard for mealy apples.

I think there might be something wrong with it. I’m not sure because I don’t know how opossum normally act. But since it was wandering around in broad daylight, it’s a good assumption.

Then it disappeared so now we can be too scared to take out the compost.

Bob and I both watched it waddle around.

I (compassionately) said: I hope it doesn’t die in our yard.

Bob said: You’re thinking that, too?

I think it’s clear that I’m relatively old but I’m not old enough to be radical yet. It’s nice to see there’s still something out there for me:

TO BE OLD from stephanie barber on Vimeo.

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Holidaze

Crazy snow in Happy Camp.

Stinkface from cat because I would not provide a lap for him to sit on.

Gorgeous day on the Klamath River.

Here they are! The Rentz ladies. My sister is crouching a little bit so she doesn’t look taller than me.

Siskiyou pass on the way home. A little iffy but not too bad.

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Happy Holidays Everyone!

Here’s a link to all the 12 Days of Christmas photos. I don’t know how to make it so that the whole post shows up so you have to click through to see the photos. That’s on my list of things to fix someday if I’m feeling ambitious. It’s probably easier to go to the main page and scan through the photos that way.

Here’s my wrap up for the year post.

I had one new publication which you can find here: The Last Willow Stick on the River which originally appeared in Yellow Medicine Review, Spring 2012.

My other big publishing success was my eBook of short stories: Red Tape Stories From Indian Country. If you need a last minute gift, I can’t think of anyone whose life wouldn’t be brightened by a book of stories about Indians with time machines and hostile fish and other unexpected problems. It’s available anywhere you can buy eBooks. Here’s a link: Amazon. It’s cheaper than a beer at Jeld-Wen.

One of the highlights of my year was seeing a million Timbers games (a million is not enough!). I’m sure you’ve got time on your hands, why not check out my endless photostream? Wait, there’s more. I have a separate photostream for the Sounders rivalry matches.

We also had a terrific trip to New York this summer. Photos here.

I’m sure other stuff happened but I can’t think of it right now and as usual, I spent the morning working on my story so now I’m behind on everything else and I need to fold clothes and make gravy and wrap presents.

I’ll be offline for about a week. Thanks for stopping by.

Hope all your holiday wishes come true.

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Day 12: Twelve Days of Christmas with the Rentz Girlsâ„¢

This is the card that the Xmas photo was pasted into. Instant classic!

I have to confess here that there’s a 3 year gap between the last photo and this one. My giant bag of photos doesn’t have the complete set. Sorry!

Do you ever look at old photos of yourself and you can hardly reconcile the photo with the person you are today? Look at those skinny brown legs.

That almost completes our show. I’m going to get a current photo of us at Christmas so you can see us in our middle-aged glory. That’s still to come.

Meanwhile, I’ll do a wrap-up for the holidays post and give you a great last minute gift idea tomorrow.

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Day 11: Twelve Days of Christmas with the Rentz Girlsâ„¢

Huh, we didn’t go see Santa this year. I wonder why.

I think I still have that little button on my sweater. That dog is Ginger who went on to live with Grandma and Grandpa and was a terrific dog.

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Day 10: Twelve Days of Christmas with the Rentz Girlsâ„¢

Only 2 exciting days left!

Don’t I look like I’m going to a job interview?

And doesn’t this Santa look sketchy? I’m sure I didn’t notice.

See that piece of paper in my hand? The previous year when I wrote Santa a letter, he handed it to one of the elves and said, “Put this in her file.”

I HAVE A FILE!?!?!?!?

So this year, I confidently handed Santa my letter and said: “For your file.”

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