I hope nothing terrible ever happens to me and CSI comes to our house with their little blood finding wand. The first thing they’re going to do is ask Bob why his wife’s blood is all over the kitchen and bathroom. He’s going to tell them that his wife likes sharp knives but is also very clumsy and rarely a week goes by when she doesn’t give herself a big gash. Then she wanders around with a little folded paper towel around it while she tries to finish whatever it is she’s making. They’re going to say, yeah right, and book him.

I did it again last night. And I just poked it and now there are red smears around my desk.

Major announcement: this morning I cleaned my oven.

If you are like me and have an ancient oven that you never clean you probably think that it’s hopeless and no amount of elbow grease and careful attention is going to save your oven. You might be wrong. I used this method and while I wouldn’t say it was easy, it got the job done. I took apart the stove top and scrubbed all those bits and pieces, too. I didn’t do an A+ job but I did a B+ job and once you turn 50, a B+ = an A+. Look it up.

At first I wished I’d done a before photo so I could show before and after. But then I realized I would be putting a photo of my gross oven online so I’m glad I didn’t think to take one.

Normally this would earn me the right to sit on the couch with a bottle of champagne and a box of See’s Candy for the rest of the day but unfortunately, I waited until the very last minute to put away the Christmas stuff. Meaning I still haven’t done it and there are boxes sitting in the living room waiting for my attention.