Meat From A Van

Did I mention I bought new glasses? I’m trying to give myself time to adapt but I am very sad that I’m not liking them. I’ve never taken glasses back before. I don’t know what’s going on but it seems like there’s only a tiny focused part in the middle of the lens and I have to keep moving my head around to see. This is not going to help with my neck pain. Or poor eyesight.

A fun problem to deal with after the new year.

I’m back from the holidays. I had a stupendously wonderful time. I ate and drank in heroic volumes so it was nice to go 24 hours (yesterday) and eat nothing but soup and fruit so I would be ready for a second round (starting today.)

Did I ever mention that guy who came by with the box of meat? This was actually awhile ago but I was thinking about it the other day. When I searched my archives I came up with this truck full of meat story from 2001.

I think it was the end of the summer and this guy who looked pretty rough around the edges rang the doorbell and when I opened the door he was standing in the yard next door. He hollered that he had this box of meat for me and to just hang on while he carried it over. When he arrived at my doorstep he told me that he would be putting it just inside my door.

“No you’re not,” I said.

“I’m not supposed to put it down without an overhang.”

“I didn’t even ask you to bring it over here,” I said.

He then waved over his shoulder and told me that my neighbors had already taken advantage of this incredible offer. You know what? Almost every sales person who has ever shown up at my front door and told me that my neighbor (non-specific wave over the shoulder) has already taken advantage of this incredible offer.

He had boxes of chicken and boxes of beef. The van door was open and there was no refrigeration that I could see. He also had a flier about their great company wandering neighborhoods with incredible boxes of meat.

What I wanted to say was, “If I go in the house and google ‘meat from a van,’ am I going to get a whole bunch hits that say, ‘Best offer ever’?”

But instead I told him I didn’t want any meat and to have a nice day. To save you the trouble, if you google meat from a van, you will get numerous sad tales, many from elderly people, who bought crap meat from a van and there was no way to get their money back.

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