More Accurate Than Ever Before

I’m thinking about buying a new point-and-shoot camera. The one I have is only 2 years old but it’s pretty crappy. (See example above.) Also I dropped it at almost every Timbers game. That’s part of the game day ritual, picking my camera up from under the seats in front of me.

I’m thinking about getting one of those rugged ones that you can drop. Also, I tend to keep my camera in my bra so it’s handy and sometimes it gets sweaty. Those rugged ones are usually waterproof, too. We’ll see.

Last week I had a regular doctor checkup. They have a whole new computer system at the clinic. My giant file from the last 20 years was nowhere in sight. The ridiculously young nurse said, “You basically have no medical history, let’s start filling this in.”

I said, “What? Did you throw all the old records away?”

“No,” she said reassuringly. “We did this on purpose so that way we’d have more accurate records.”

This reminds of when your bank tells you that for your convenience they’re going to charge you more fees.

We went through the list and she’d say, “Oh, have you ever had something like this?”

And I’d say, “Uh, I think did have itchy forehead syndrome once.”

“Itchy forehead system,” she’d repeat and open a new window and asked me a million questions like what day did it start and how often did I have symptoms and what did I do and what medicines did I take.

WTF? “It was right after I graduated from college,” I said. “I can’t remember.”

Needless to say there was no incentive to remember any further medical issues.

Later the doctor came in for my exam. I love her. She’s super tiny and hilarious.

She and I went over my new accurate history and she said, “What? You’re smoking?”

“No,” I said. “I’m not.”

“It says here, you’re smoking.”

“Well, I’m not.”

She turns the computer screen to face me and points to the window. “It says, regular daily smoker.”

I’m super impressed with this accurate system.