Let the Half-Assed Post Apologies for Half-Assed Posting Resume

So I was well on my way to a personal best driving record from Orleans, CA to Vancouver WA (I’m sure there’s a way I could embed a map if I could be bothered to try) when the electronic freeway sign warned of a wreck at milepost 266.

Sure enough by milepost 263 everything had slowed down. Then all three lanes stopped.

I’ve never been on a total freeway stop that I can remember.

Cars began doing all sorts of creative things to backtrack and get off the freeway.

They turned around and drove backwards on the shoulder and then turned on their signals and crossed the stopped lanes at the spot where they could reach the freeway exit.

I had a big bottle of water, Meredith cookies and a rock block of Ozzy Osbourne. I handled it pretty well.

I got out of the car and crawled on the hood to take these photos.

I wanted to get on the roof but it was sorta slippery and I wasn’t in the mood to fall and break my neck with a large crowd of onlookers.

We got going again after 20 minutes and when we finally reached something interesting it was the worse excuse for an accident ever. It was a fender bender on the other side of the freeway.

I very responsibly took my hands off the wheel and my eyes off the road to take photos but somehow must have done it wrong because they aren’t on the camera.

I think maybe the fender bender was due to lookie-loos for the cleared accident on our side of the freeway. There was an ancient motor home that looked like Godzilla had taken a bite out of it towed to the side and a lone orange cone guarding it. Still, not too impressive for a three lane, 20-minute closure.

I still got home in good time and now I’m tired and overwhelmed. My sweetheart fed me a great dinner and I’ve got the car unloaded.

Many photos and tales to come. Supposedly. We’ll see. My track record recently has been pretty bad.