Busy Breakfast Morning Should Be The Name of A Band

Klamath River rocks

Last week I got a survey in the mail addressed to Mr. Pam Hughes. It’s some sort of marketing thing and the questions make me wonder whether I have any business being on this planet.

I didn’t even have to do the first 4 pages because I don’t have pets or a busy breakfast morning.

What is a busy breakfast morning?

It asked me if I bought bacon strips in the last week. Is that the same as bacon? Or are bacon strips a separate type of product? I did buy bacon but the package says thick bacon slices and I didn’t buy it for breakfast I bought it for some collard greens I made for dinner. I said yes so I could check off at least one box in the busy breakfast morning section.

There was a whole page asking about tires. When I choose tires do I want them to make me feel sporty? I don’t even know what that means. Do I choose tires because I like the way they corner? Do I choose tires because something about getting soft and gripping the pavement? I learned more about tires during that survey than I’ve learned driving cars for the last 30 years. It also asked if I do a lot of research before I buy tires. No. I go to Les Schwab and buy whatever they recommend. They could show me tractor tires and I’d get out my credit card and say, “Okay, if that’s what you think.” I think there’s marketing information in that last statement but I don’t think the survey captured it.

Then it asked me a million questions about Facebook and do I rely on customer comments about products I’m considering and do I admire people with lots of friends and do I trust what corporations post. Ugh. Facebook.

They gave me five bucks and gave me another form to fill out so I could be entered into a drawing for more fabulous cash and prizes and no doubt more pointless marketing research.